How do you know if it's working?

I really enjoy being in conversation with other practitioners and hearing what's going on in other parts of the world. This week I was on the monthly Art of Hosting auf Deutsch Stammtisch call -- a time when German speakers get together to share news and insights. (And yes, I was speaking German, I do that too!)

We talked about many things, including -- 

• How do you get Art of Hosting (or any practice) to work with everyone?
• How do you get people to take self-responsibility?
• What is a safe space?

All good questions. My contribution?

For me, there are a few things to pay attention to that cover all these questions:

Meet people where they are

If I'm engaging with people who have never been part of a participatory practice before or who have never worked with a facilitator, I go slow, I work simply and I use a lot of lightness. You cannot force people to go where they are not ready. We focus on creating the connection by doing the work together. 

Practice the Art of Invitation

 That makes the practicing the art of invitation key, and it starts well before anyone gets into the room. How you invite someone is how they show up. Invitation doesn't stop at the door, either. You keep on inviting. With your words, with your tone and with your presence. This is such a beautiful art to get good at!

Framing is everything

Most of the time when people don't do what they are asked to do, it is because they don't understand -- either how it fits into what they are doing or how they fit into what the task is asking. That makes the framing of any meeting, task, vision, or work absolutely the first thing you need to get right. Lead with the WHY. 

It takes time to teach people how to be with us

Our current society has trained people well to be consumers. In hosting, we want them to become co-creators. The first step in helping people to make this leap is to embody it ourselves. In our every action we are teaching people how to be with us, and how to be with each other. We are working together to create a safe enough space and a sense of participation and co-creation. The second is to focus on what really matters and then the commitment becomes real.

Appreciation is micro-hosting

Every time appreciation goes around the space becomes softer, more connected and more generous. We find out it is okay to risk because someone has already spotted a tiny bit of the brilliance we keep hidden (or don't even know is there!). It is one of the first things we can practice to help people really show up.

What would you add to this list?